Parents often regard their toddlers as blessings. These 1-4 year old kids are like angels sent from above, most parents would exclaim. But there are times when they don’t act like it. Toddlers throwing their tantrums at different times of the day are such a pain. In a study conducted in United States, an average of 79% of children ages ranging from one to four years exhibit these tantrums. If you are one of the parents of these children, you might want to read along to learn how to deal with them.
First, know why they throw tantrums. Basically, throwing tantrums is how young children deal with difficult feelings, especially frustration. These are triggered by stress, hunger, tiredness, annoyance and situations that children just can’t cope with – like not being able to accomplish a task. Adults have them too but not as bad as these children have. This is a normal part of development for children as they learn to communicate and express their sentiments.
These toddlers are so unpredictable. Their tantrums can occur 5-7 times a week and can last 1-5 minutes. Of course, there are worse cases but these are the average. Perhaps the worst time these children can throw their tantrums is during bedtime. Just when parents are about to sleep and not worry about the day that came and the one that’s going to come, the toddlers decided to throw a fit and catch attention. Then bedtime has turned into a nightmare. The most common and effective way to address this bedtime problem is having a bedtime routine. These routines are a set of pre-bedtime activities that should be fun especially for your child. The activities should be consistent every night because this is how your child will know what to expect each and every night.
Do not shock them about bedtime. 15 minutes before bedtime, tell your child that you’ll read a story or give a bath in around that time.
When that time comes, lead your child to the bedroom for the story or the bathroom for the bath. Insist calmly because your child will try to make up reasons to stay up. Never give in, or they will know they can get you the next time. You should give out the message that you are the authority.
Give a warm, soothing bath. This bath will calm your child. Adding aroma oils will also help. But adding toys to the bath area won’t.
Make them brush their teeth. Inserting this in the routine will help in the long run. Your child will carry on this habit as they grow up.
Put them in pajamas. To make it fun, let them chose their own pajamas to wear.
Tell your child a bedtime story. To make it fun, try including family members or people you both met during the day. This will develop the creativity in your child.
Before saying goodnight, you can chat with your child to make them feel more secure. This includes singing a lullaby or saying prayers or simple talking about the day they had.
If you have already exhausted above suggestion and nothing seem to work for your child, then try…
Dr Robert MacKenzie is an educational psychologist and family therapist. His book, Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child explores ways to motivate your child to listen and behave appropriately without conflict. The book takes into consideration the unique temperaments of each child.
Dr MacKenzie believes that good relationships with children are based on mutual respect and cooperation. In his book he teaches parents how to understand their strong-willed child, how to be clear and firm with your words without giving in, how to hold your ground without being threatening, how to stop power struggles between you and your child and how to empathize and understand without giving in.
You will benefit from techniques and procedures to gain a better understanding of the child/parent relationship without the use of punishment. If you are yearning for a more peaceful and positive relationship amongst all of your family members, Dr MacKenzie’s book will give you the understanding and advice you need to achieve this.
For more information, go to www.amazon.com.