For the time that I have dealt with my fertility issues, I have seen quite a number of obstetricians just because they never seemed to live up to my expectations. I had one obstetrician who never truly listened and she was just bent on insisting that my symptoms were not significant. I’ve also been to consultations that lasted so quick that I never even had the chance to ask questions. If you’ve been through the same situation before, perhaps it’s time to consider finding a new doctor. Here are some signs that you need to look out for:

1.    He’s too busy for you.

Doctors are understandably busy, but when he shows signs that he’s always unavailable, you are not getting your end of the bargain of the doctor-patient relationship. The moment you walk in for a consultation, your doctor should have already gone through your medical history. It’s also fair that you expect him to give you undivided attention when it’s your time for a consultation. If he’s not genuinely interested in your welfare and if he’s too preoccupied with other issues, you may find it hard to get your point across and you may also find it hard to ask pertinent questions regarding your pregnancy.

2.    He does not listen.

If you have told your doctor countless times about your symptoms and he refuses to believe that they are real, then he’s not listening. Symptoms are subjective and no matter how weird they are, your doctor should not let your concerns fall on deaf ears. Your OB should instead validate your symptoms and he also needs to carefully listen to your complaints to make sure that your pregnancy is progressing normally.

3.    He is not respectful.

Your decisions on the kind of care that you want during your pregnancy and delivery will be largely influenced by your beliefs. You need a doctor who will respect your beliefs and at the same time not impose his own on your choices. If you have issues regarding pain control measures during delivery and even birth control preferences after birth, he should be able to present you with options that are in line with your beliefs.

4.    You don’t trust him.

The foundation of any doctor-patient relationship is rooted on trust. If you don’t feel safe with your obstetrician, then there’s no point in continuing the partnership. You need to trust him enough so that you will be able to share pertinent details regarding your medical history. This may include past abortions, your sexual history, and other issues that may in some way affect your pregnancy and delivery. If you trust your OB and you are contented at how he is managing your pregnancy, you won’t feel the need to scour the internet for answers, and you also won’t feel the nagging need to seek second opinion.

5.    He doesn’t make you feel comfortable.

If you don’t look forward to doctor visits because your OB does not make you feel comfortable, it may get in the way with compliance. If you skip appointments just because you are afraid at how your doctor will react to the weight that you’ve put on, it means that the relationship is no longer healthy. You need to feel at ease with your doctor so that open communication lines can be maintained. Effective communication is after all a vital tool in ensuring the delivery of high-quality health care.

What are the qualities that you look for in an obstetrician? What are the common reasons that put you off?