Changes are inevitable in every relationship. As couples go through different life stages, many relationships also evolve at some point. With the equally demanding work routine, it can be difficult to balance everything from home responsibilities to keeping a healthy relationship with your partner. Coupled with issues like communication problems and the lack of intimacy, many relationships can really dwindle amidst a very healthy start.
In trying to make your marriage work, it is good to acknowledge that there is no perfect relationship, and we are not perfect individuals either. And it is only common for couples to have problems when their values and ideas don’t always jive. Married couples may encounter problems like infidelity, substance abuse, certain physical or mental health conditions, cultural differences, financial concerns, communication problems, and a host of other problems that can arise in marriage.
When you feel that your marriage is on the rocks, and that you can’t seem to find the solution to your problems, it may already be high time to seek marriage counseling, or couples therapy. Through marriage counseling, couples are able to see their problems at a different perspective. It can help couples communicate better, settle differences and even relate to each other in a healthy manner. Some couples are able to resolve conflicts after therapy, while others may decide that it may already be time to go separate ways.
Many couples mistakenly think that marriage counseling is only for couples who are having problems, when in reality it can also help couples who only want to strengthen their relationship. Couples therapy can also help couples who are about to get married. This kind of therapy is called pre-marriage counseling, and it seeks to make couples have a deeper understanding of one another, thereby allowing them to settle out their differences before the vows are made.
Finding the right marriage counselor is essential because he or she will be a key person in attaining your goals for your relationship. Try to look for a therapist or a marriage counselor, who is a licensed mental health professional. Depending on the state where you reside, therapists need to accomplish certain requirements before they can be licensed. Most states require advanced training, which may require a doctoral degree, and training duly supervised by other experts. You may ask your health care provider or even family and friends for any recommendations.
If you have prospects, it may be good to give them a call. You may ask the therapist for his or her educational training or background, as well as previous experiences in dealing with your particular issue. Determine how much you need to pay for the therapy, and you may also check whether the services can be covered by your health insurance. You also need to consider the therapist’s clinic location and the clinic hours, since you and your spouse need to allocate some time for the sessions.
The length and frequency of your visits may depend on the recommendation of your therapist. However, therapies are mostly short-term, and couples may only need a few sessions to help them sort out their differences. There will be instances though that a therapist will recommend additional sessions, or even sessions that can last for several months, when a particular relationship has really deteriorated.
During sessions, a therapist helps couples in identifying and understanding the root of their conflicts. The therapies are also aimed at assisting couples in solving their problems, thereby teaching them effective strategies, on how to openly communicate, and discuss problems in a rational way. It cannot be avoided that couples will have long silences, or even loud arguments during sessions, but these will all be part of the process of trying to iron out problems. The important thing is for couples to still exert an effort, and seek out help in making the relationship last.
Working towards making a relationship work can be difficult, and it is very possible that you and your partner may not be able to solve these problems on your own. Since marital problems can greatly affect many aspects of your life, it is only but appropriate that you seek help when necessary. Seeking help does not mean that you aren’t capable of solving the problem by yourselves, but it rather implies that you are strong enough to work with your partner to weather the storm.