Children will be children. And if you have more than one in a room, there’s a good bet there will be an argument or conflict at some point. Teaching conflict resolution to your children will reduce your frustrations and help bring peace to your home.
One way to address conflict resolution is by using books. Authors of children’s books are able to write to a child’s level of understanding. They create characters that children can identify with. The story can be used to describe a conflict between characters as well as demonstrate to children the best way to resolve that conflict. Once they see a different way to resolve problems, they’ll be more likely to use those skills the next time they have a conflict.
While you’re reading the story to your children, stop occasionally to discuss what’s going on. Ask them questions like:
Continue reading the story and talking about what’s going on in it. Help them understand there are two sides to every argument or conflict. Ask them about their feelings and how their feelings might affect what they say or do. You could also ask them how they might resolve what’s going on in the story before you read that part. Finally, ask them what the character learned from the situation in the book and how that knowledge could help them solve their own conflicts.
Talk about appropriate ways to handle conflicts. Remind them to never use violence because violence never solves a problem; it only creates others. Help them see that talking about a problem and working toward a resolution together is the best way to resolve a conflict.
Do your best to be a good role model for your children. If you live with other people, you’re going to have a conflict sooner or later. Remember that your children are watching you. They want to see how you handle conflicts, even with them – especially once you start teaching them about it. If you get angry, yell and shout, they are less likely to believe that’s not the right way to resolve conflict. Try to remain calm and talk about things rather than letting your emotions get the best of you.
Here are some steps you may want to model for them:
Once you begin teaching conflict resolution to your children, you may notice less stress and fussing in your home. Continue to work with them when they have disagreements, model conflict resolution before them, and your children will be better equipped to handle any conflicts they have in the future. And isn’t that what parenting is all about – equipping our children for life outside of your home?
Parents understand that very young children can’t communicate with words. Many young children, however, will use other means to try to get their needs across. This may mean crying, throwing a temper tantrum and even hitting. While you may expect some of this behavior from a toddler, what do you do when the hitting continues […]
Children will always be unique in their own way. With their distinct personalities, it is common for siblings to argue, and to get into fights. And as they go through different stages of growth and development, their varying needs can result to jealousy and disputes. Sibling rivalry is common among children, and it is a […]
As toddlers develop their own identities, they also become increasingly aware of their “property rights”. If your child belongs to this age group, you may already be familiar with constant battles at home regarding territories and ownership. If you try to examine the root of their battles, it may stem from toys not being shared, […]
Couples are bound to get into arguments, disagreements, and if not resolved properly, it can easily escalate into fights. Albeit stressful, fights are normal, and it will always be part of healthy and strong relationships. But when it is allowed to go out of hand, it can definitely hurt your marriage. Since these disagreements and […]
If there’s one thing that aptly describes the atmosphere at my brother’s house, it’s chaos. Being parents to toddler twins, there isn’t a day that would pass when the kids would not get into some kind of conflict. From wanting to play with the very same toy to seeking attention, they would always find ways […]