If there’s one thing that aptly describes the atmosphere at my brother’s house, it’s chaos. Being parents to toddler twins, there isn’t a day that would pass when the kids would not get into some kind of conflict. From wanting to play with the very same toy to seeking attention, they would always find ways to compete.  While the unmistakable bond will always be there amongst siblings, getting into fights is just inevitable.

Twins may have the same genetic make-up and some of them may even look exactly alike, but the fact remains that they can be as different as night and day. If you find yourself struggling to keep the peace at home, here are some tips on how you can get your twins to get along:

1.    Spend one on one time with each child.

If you can allocate a special time for each child, they will end up being happier and they won’t demand or even compete for so much attention anymore. When your partner is at home, give your kids undivided attention separately. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy and you can even just read a book or talk to your child about anything at all. For as long as they are getting the attention that they need individually, they will feel more secure and they won’t easily get into squabbles over the littlest things.

2.    Watch out for aggressive behavior.

You need to be on guard for even the smallest sign that a child is frustrated or angry. Young children aren’t so good at being in control and they can easily hurt each other if you don’t intervene on time. Keep them away from each other when a twin is having a foul mood so that they can both stay safe.

3.    Set the right example.

When you are angry, stay calm and resolve conflict peacefully. Avoid shouting, banging doors or any kind of hostile behavior. If you do so, there is a big chance that your twins will do the same each time they get mad. So if you think you can’t handle it, give yourself a quick time out. If you don’t want to see an exact replica of your very angry self, learn how to constructively deal with your own emotions, or better yet vent your anger somewhere else.

4.    Encourage cooperative play.

You would like your twins to get along so avoid giving them activities that won’t foster cooperation. Get them to help each other out when keeping their toys or get them to solve simple tasks together. Praise them individually for their strengths and never compare their capabilities. By doing so, you are also helping them develop confidence and self-esteem. Promote healthy competition and avoid situations when your kids will have to compete for your attention and affection.

5.    Promote individuality.

It can do your kids a lot of good if you allow them to develop a healthy sense of self. Although they may share so many things together, they can have different likes and interests. Allow them to express that they are different persons and don’t expect one child to also act the same way as his twin. Conflict can be avoided if they are free to develop their own personalities without the constant pressure to compete or to be just like his or her twin.

How do you minimize sibling rivalry between your twins? How do you deal with the constant conflict?