5 Tips On How To Deal With Financial Infidelity

By in Money Matter$ on 28 January 2011

When it comes to money issues, lying can not only get you into a financial rut, but it can also cause havoc in your relationship. Whether it’s a small splurge or a purchase big enough to instigate drastic changes in your family’s finances, you need to keep your partner informed. But staying truthful can be challenging especially if you can’t resist buying stuff that you don’t really need. For others, their spending can get so out of hand that it can lead to the demise of their marriage.

According to new research, 3 in 10 Americans commit financial infidelity. Lying about money can be in many forms such as lying about purchases or even how much they cost. It can also be in the form of keeping a secret bank account, hiding an addiction, or doling out money to relatives without your partner’s knowledge. At some point, we are all guilty of financial infidelity and at times we even feel that our actions are justifiable. But if you look at the long term repercussions of financial infidelity, it can hurt your marriage in the same manner as having an affair.

If your marriage has suffered and if you are nowhere near financial stability, here are some ways on how you can tackle your problem:

1.    Devise a realistic financial plan. Having a plan will keep you and your partner from arguing for days on end on how you can solve your financial troubles. If you need a second job or another source of income, start job hunting right away so that you can slowly work on eliminating your debts.

2.    Be accountable. You need to take responsibility of your actions by showing your spouse that you are doing all you can in cleaning up your mess. Don’t rely on others to bail you out because it will be unfair for them and you may also never learn from your mistakes.

3.     Know whether you can get a debt settlement plan. If you are drowning in credit card debt, contact your credit card company and inquire about their debt management plans. But before signing any agreement, read the fine print. Find out how the plan can affect your credit score and make sure that the plan is something that will be good for you in the long run. There are also Debt Settlement Companies that can offer seemingly quick solutions to your problem. But you need to be very careful with them because they may offer one-sided solutions that will only plunge you deeper into debt.

4.    Be transparent about your finances. Regaining the trust of your partner will not be easy but it’s something that you need work on so that you will not drift further apart. Be honest so that you can show your partner that you are committed in making things right. It may even help if you can together do a regular check and balance procedure so that you can get the family’s finances in order.

5.    Seek help. If you have bad spending habits or if you have a gambling addiction, you need to come to terms with your own issues. If you can’t deal with it alone, you can always seek professional help from financial counselors and other professionals who can help you manage your finances better. If your marriage is on the rocks, seek marital counseling so that you can be guided on how to start fresh. By taking these bold steps, you are moving towards financial and marital healing.

How did you deal with financial infidelity? What steps did you take in order to recover from financial ruin and marital breakdown?

1 Comments For This Post

  1. The person sitting next to you in church, the man in line at the grocery store, or one of your co-workers; any one of these could be involved with a gambling problem. Imagine your grandmother committing a crime to support her gambling addiction. I am a recovering alcoholic, gambler, and have recovered from other addictive behaviors. I published a book, Gripped by Gambling, where the readers can follow the destructive path of the compulsive gambler, a prison sentence, and then on to the recovery road.

    I recently published a second book, Switching Addictions, describing additional issues that confront the recovering addict. These are two books you might consider adding to your library. I also publish a free online newsletter, Women Helping Women, which has been on-line for more than ten years and is read by hundreds of women (and men) from around the world. (www.femalegamblers.info)


    Marilyn Lancelot


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