Whenever we are together as a married couple, we never expect it to end in the two of us splitting up. This can be especially difficult if there are children involved. Single parents are becoming more and more the norm in our society and even though many people only really think about the single mothers, thinking about the single parent father is also very important. If you find yourself in a situation where you are raising a child as a father on your own, there are some things that you can do to help you along the way. These can be especially helpful if you feel that you are ill equipped to take on the responsibility but want to do the best job that you possibly can.

One thing that you are going to have to deal with whenever you are the single parent father is discipline to one degree or another. If the mother is still taking an active role in the child’s life, you will certainly want to discuss with her the roles that each of you are going to play in the disciplining of your child. Even though you and the child’s mother may be living separately, you should still be unified in the way that you discipline your child and the things that you expect from them as an individual. This will not only keep them from playing the two of you against each other but it will also help them to develop into healthy adults.

You are also going to need to know how to communicate with your child effectively. Although this can be relatively easy whenever the child is young, the scars that are left from a broken home can interfere with their ability to communicate freely with you. They may feel as if they are being unfaithful to their mother if they discuss things of a personal nature with you. Although it would be inappropriate of you to ask them for information that you could use between you and their mother, it is certainly appropriate for you to communicate with them to find out what they need. Don’t hold back information from them although you should stop short of giving any personal details that do not belong to them. If you allow them to know that the situation you are dealing with is special, they may be more apt to help you to overcome some of the rough spots.

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The teenage years can be some of the most difficult that an individual can experience. Not only is it difficult for the person that is going through these years themselves, it can also be difficult on the parent of a teenage child. Many people that were close to their child all throughout their lifetime suddenly find themselves in a position where they and their teenager are growing apart in many different ways. If you want to have a close bond between you and your teen, here is how to create one. It may take a little bit of work to get things going and to maintain, but it will be well worth it in the end.

One thing that both you and your teenager need to understand is that the generation gap does not really exist. Many of the things that your teenager is experiencing are the same things that you experienced whenever you were their age. Although some of the details and faces may have changed during that time, we all have the same anxieties that we experience whenever we are entering into adulthood through the eyes of a teenager. If both of you realize that you’re not so different, it will make the entire process of securing a close bond with your child much easier.

Communication during this time is very vital and hopefully, you have been building a relationship based on communication with your child, even before they entered their teenage years. Even if you haven’t done this, however, it is still possible to get to know your teenager and to communicate with them effectively. Don’t try to be too much like them as far as how you speak and act, allow them to have their individuality in this regard. By talking with them on both serious and everyday matters, however, you will be building a relationship with them that you will be able to rely on throughout their lifetime.

One final thing that you can do is to allow them to develop as individuals. Don’t try to mold them into your idea of what the perfect teenager should be. That doesn’t mean, however, that they should be totally without guidelines but as long as they maintain their position in the family arrangement, they should be able to express themselves as the individuals that they are. If you allow them to do this, you will be gaining their respect to a certain degree and helping to forge a bond between the two of you as well.

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Growing up, I LOVED eating ice cream. Especially in the summer. I remember as a child, my mother would make us these 4th of July popsicle sticks. She made them only for the 4th of July, however. If you’ve got some time, try to make some for your 4th of July BBQ. It’s also a great way to spend time with your kids. They are so easy enough for your kids to make them.

What you need:

Red, White, and Blue Juices (Cranberry, Coconut, and Blue Kool Aid will work)
Small sized paper cups (3 oz cups will do)
Popsicle sticks
Baking Sheet

What to do:

Line up the cups on a baking sheet.
Pour about 2 tablespoons of cranberry juice into each cup.
Freeze for approximately 2 hours.

Remove from freezer and stick the popsicle sticks in the center of each cup.
Add another 2 tablespoons of coconut juice into each cup.
Freeze for approximately 2 hours.

Remove from freezer.
Add another 2 tablespoons of the blue Kool Aid into each cup.
Freeze until hard.
Once hard, peel off the paper cups and serve.

Enjoy!

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One of the problems that we are dealing with as a society in general is diabetes.  It used to be that this was a problem that was typically found in adults but with the diets that we tend to keep in the lifestyles that we live, it is becoming more and more prevalent for our children to have diabetes as well.  That is why there is a great need for diabetes information for kids that will help to give them and their parents some general guidelines for a lifestyle that will keep them free from this debilitating disease.

Most people are not aware of the fact that almost 177,000 children in the United States alone are dealing with diabetes.  These numbers are sure to rise as more and more children are lacking in exercise and eating the wrong types of food.  Even though your doctor will be able to give you information that will guide you through these processes, here is some basic diabetes information for kids that will help you to make sound choices that will affect your child’s health for their lifetime.  By following these tips yourself, you will also be benefited in a healthy way.

Of course, there are two different types of diabetes but for this particular article, we are going to discuss the one that affects people as a result of their lifestyle.  If your child has type 1 diabetes, lifestyle changes will also be necessary but this is best done under the supervision of a doctor.

One of the most important things for you to understand about diabetes in children is that it is often comes as a result of poor dietary habits.  Far too many sugary snacks and fast food dinners have caused an epidemic of obesity that is experienced in children throughout many developing countries.  In order to curtail this obesity and to combat diabetes, it is often necessary to eat foods that are lower in sugar.  It is not necessary to totally cut the sugar out of your system but you should make sure that you stick with foods that are on the lower end of the glycemic index.  By doing so, you will be helping the sugar to release slowly into the system instead of dumping into your bloodstream and causing your pancreas to flood your system with insulin.  By taking this one simple step, you will be doing much in combating diabetes and obesity in your children.

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Over the years, there have been a lot of different ways that have come in to light on how to raise your children. These range from extreme in the disciplinary part of raising our child to the extreme in allowing your child to determine their own course. One of the most famous of these is that which was written by Dr. Spock. According to his theories, you should not punish your child but that you should allow them to basically do anything they want. This did nothing but produce a generation of children that are now suffering the consequences of having no general parental direction.

One is the most effective types of parenting that has ever been done, however, is now typically known as authoritative parenting. Although it takes more work than many other types of parenting, this particular method will help you to be able to raise well-rounded children that are balanced in many areas of their life. In order to do this, however, you are going to have to be tough on yourself as well. Here is a basic overview of authoritative parenting and a word of advice.

Authoritative parenting is not as harsh as what it sounds. It does have to do with developing a very close relationship with your child and holding out some specific rules and guidelines that your child will be expected to follow throughout their life. You are going to need to balance your family life along with these expectations in order to make sure that you are not either being overly lenient or overly demanding with your child for their particular stage of development. It also has a lot to do with getting to know your child as an individual and knowing what their limitations are so that you can adjust these guidelines according to their personality and individual level of development.

Contrary to the way that many people feel, setting out guidelines for your children is not going to harm their development in any way. All throughout our life, we have guidelines that are set out for us. This includes guidelines that are established at our workplace and the way that we are expected to act within our personal relationships. Being an authoritative parent and setting out reasonable guidelines for your children will not harm their development, it will enhance it to the benefit of both you and your children.

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As pet owners, we have certain expectations that surround the development and actions that our pets take in the household.  As parents, we also have expectations of what our child is going to accomplish throughout their life.  Although there are vast differences between pets and children, there are also many similarities.  These similarities can range from the personalities of the individual pets and children to the type of things that they may be regularly doing in our lives.  There’s no doubt, we love both our children and our pets so let’s take a look at how kids are like pets and how both of them affect us in a very personal way.

The first way that kids are like pets is because of the things that they try to get away with.  A child will push your limits on a constant basis in order to see exactly how far they can take those limits.  As a matter of fact, you will no doubt find yourself being put to the test on a regular basis in order to see if they can actually get away with something.  Do you recognize this behavior in your pets as well?  Of course you do.  A pet will also push the envelope, so to speak, in order to see how far they can take things before they receive some kind of disciplinary action.

Another way that children in our lives are like the pets in our lives is because of the love they give back to us.  This is especially the case whenever they are younger but even as children approach their teenage years and enter into this difficult time of life, they also give love back to us, even if they have a difficult time expressing it.  A dog will give you unconditional love and will come running to greet you at the door with a wagging tail as soon as you enter the house.  A child may not run to you every time you enter into the room but it’s not difficult for you to recognize the fact that a child needs you and is more comfortable whenever you’re around, even if they are not outwardly expressive of this.

Both our pets and our children are our responsibility to care for, to keep warm and well fed, to discipline when necessary and to show unconditional love throughout their lifetime.

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Two and a half hours in a church hall on a Saturday afternoon. Thirty yellow balloons hovering just above the ground. Twenty-eight second grade girls. Eight large pizzas. Seven two-liter bottles of soda. A huge vegetable tray. One full sheet cake. One karaoke machine. Three microphones. And, the soundtrack to High School Musical 2 playing…over and over and over again.

I did a lot of counting today – and not just the numbers of balloons or bottles of soda at my daughter’s 8th birthday party. I counted all the birthday parties I’ve hosted for my four children since I became a mother. The sum total took me aback: last weekend’s birthday celebration was party number thirty-two. 32!

I searched my mind to recall their themes.

There were at-home parties featuring unicorns, Star Wars characters, pirates (twice), firefighters, Harry Potter, kittens, astronauts, butterflies, Dora the Explorer, horses, Legos, marine life, and Rescue Heroes.

My sons have celebrated their birthdays at bowling alleys, at a minor league baseball game, and at laser tag facilities. One of my daughters had a wonderfully messy and creative party at our community center’s pottery studio. We’ve had a luau, ballet parties, and a big backyard rainforest party with sprinklers and plastic wading pools.

We’ve had store-bought sheet cakes and ornate home-made ones. (You should have seen the pirate ship I made, complete with root beer barrels, malted milk ball cannonballs, and little plastic pirates climbing the wooden dowel masts.) I’ve scoured the Internet for the right spun sugar toppers for cupcakes. I’ve made treasure hunts and modified “Simon Says” in countless ways to fit the day’s theme.

Can you tell? I love it!

Gary Chapman is the author of the “Love Languages” series of books. He states that there are five primary ways that people “speak and understand emotional love.” These are: “physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and words of affirmation.” Chapman writes that everyone communicates love in one of these ways.

Maybe he could add a sixth one: “giving birthday parties!”

With a busy family life, for me creating my kids’ birthday parties every year is a tangible way to show each of them that I appreciate them as individuals. The child whose birthday is approaching is singled out. We pore over birthday party websites and circle ideas we like in catalogs. We discuss guest lists at length. At those times, I often learn new things about my child’s current batch of classmates and the specific reasons why my child most values each friend. We bake, address invitations, and assemble goody bags together. We decorate for the party – often creating homemade decorations to supplement whatever we’ve bought.

I know parents who make other choices – parents, perhaps, whose love language isn’t “giving birthday parties.” I have friends who allow their children a party every second or third year. They have dinner at a favorite restaurant or go on a special outing to celebrate on the “off” years. Some children don’t enjoy big parties, so instead they invite one or two friends over to watch a movie or spend the night. I admire parents who limit the number of guests their children can invite to the age that child is turning on her next birthday. All of these are sensible ideas and ones I can recommend whole-heartedly.

But…I have to admit – I don’t follow them myself.

The parties I give my children aren’t lavish. For my daughter’s recent High School Musical party, the karaoke machine and microphones were borrowed from a friend. The pizzas were inexpensive and the cake was $15 from a warehouse club. The girls spent most of the party dancing around the room. There was no magician and no pony rides. It was just a very large group of girls dancing and singing.

The most excessive choice I’ve made because of my “birthday party language of love” happened a few years ago. My younger son was turning eight and had just finished a difficult school year. Among other things, a new boy was bullying him and a few of his friends. My son and his friends struggled for months to try to figure out what to do about the problem, not wanting to be “tattle-tales.”

Finally my son told his teacher about the bullying. The school acted swiftly to end the bad situation. The principal met with my son and the boy in question. The principal then met with my son’s whole class to talk about the importance of telling adults when you are being hurt. All the attention - even though it ultimately solved the problem - embarrassed my son. His birthday was the day after school ended for the year.

The day before the party, I surveyed our plans. I was glad to see that all of his friends could attend. We had materials to transform the backyard swing set into a pirate ship. All the boys would receive eye patches and bandanas. The aforementioned pirate ship cake looked magnificent.

But, I thought to myself, how can I make this even better? On a whim, I drove to our local appliance rental shop. There were large, blow-up “moon jumps” for rent, but these were too expensive and weren’t theme-appropriate. I walked past hefty power tools and gardening instruments, but couldn’t find inspiration.

But, then, I saw it: a cotton candy machine! For about $100, it could be mine the next afternoon and I could have all the blue candy sugar I wanted.

The back yard was a delightful sight the day of the party. There were about 20 young pirates wearing eye patches, gold hoop earrings, and drawn-on scars. They pantomimed sword fights with their inflatable swords. They swung off the sides of the huge pirate ship and held sticky cones of cotton candy. My son was beaming. It was great to see him smiling again.

So, I’ve been a Mom for 11 years and, so far, have hosted 32 birthday parties for my children. Next month will be party number 33. My soon-to-be six year old is already drawing up her guest list.

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